Week Fifteen

Merry Christmas

There was a Christmas celebration in Bogota on the 23rd. Half of the zones of the mission were there. Maybe 100 missionaries.

Each zone prepared a skit to preform for everyone + Mission President Laney.

Our skit was pretty dumb. It was about different types of missionaries contacting a Grinch family.

I was in the Grinch family. Everything was going fine. Then one pair of missionaries contacted us. We told them to get lost. One of them tried to give us a Book of Mormon. We were telling him no. He handed it to me, let go, I didnt catch it, the Book of Mormon fell on the floor so loudly. It got quiet.  Everyone went like "oooooh". So yeah never gonna be assistant now.

Also secret santas. I had Elder Picuasi of Otavalo Ecuador. He has a ponytail. I got him a hair straightener. It was funny. Elder Elmer got my a puppy piggy bank.

Also in the celebration, there was one part where missionary representatives from each country told their Christmas traditons. When they were taking too long to tell traditions everyone just started clapping to kick them off. It was really funny.

It was cool meeting new missionaries though. Met some guys who listen to the same music as me. We all got pretty trunky.

Went back to Barbosa for Christmas Eve.

We baptized a girl named Doris. We had spent a good 4 hours cleaning and filling the baptismal font (which is like a giant trash bag here in Barbosa). So I wasn't feeling the day- but after the baptism happened it was all good.

Me and Elder Manrique bought burgers and a ton of soda for Christmas Dinner. We made a Christmas tree out of our fan. We drink so much soda here. I have a nice beer belly.

Christmas Eve was pretty out of control in Barbosa. Music and fireworks. Super loud. But Christmas day was really quiet. Everyone sleeping in their houses with hangovers. They open presents Christmas Eve here.

There was sacrament meeting. Doris got confirmed. She was late to the meeting so everyone was eyeing me like "where is she?".

Had skype call with you guys made me super trunky.

We went to the Ramirez Family's house. They have a missionary in Argentina. They were talking with him. We said hi. He is training a gringo too. So I'm in Colombia getting trained by an Argentinian and he is the reverse. It was funny.

Today was P-day. We bought presents- soccer jerseys, I got a machete with a sweet sheath. We also checked out a horse gear store. It was just one guy there. He was making leather belts. I asked him if I could buy the leather. He said it was leather for horses so no. I don't know why that's a reason.

Postobon Manzana is the best soda here.

and thus it is written

amen

Week Fourteen

[ No emails this week, but we could message instead. Ralph shared this story. ]

oh there's a funny story

passed from elder hunsaker to elder porras to me to manrique

its called hammerflaggen:

a horse lives on a beautiful farm

just a perfect place to raise a horse

and his farmer loves him so very much

and he gives his horse these big beautiful juicy red apples

so good

the horse loves these apples

so so good

but the farmer is running low on cash

he has to sell the horse

he sells his horse to another farmer

and this farmer doesn’t feed him apples

he feeds him hammerflaggen

disgusting

barely food

so nasty

it’s hard for this horse to swallow

but after awhile

it’s alright

after awhile

it’s not so bad

after awhile

it’s actually pretty good

after awhile

this hammerflaggen hits the spot!

after awhile

give me some more of this hammerflaggen!

then the first farmer is in a good economic situation again

so he buys back his horse

and gives him red apples once again

and the apples were so far superior to hammerflaggen and the horse remembered what real food was

-----

how does this story relate to missions?

just how home life is way better than mission field but you get used to the mission field

me and manrique love the preach my gospel study videos and we call them tv hammerflaggen

Week Thirteen

Dear Family

This week was sweet.

Elder Manrique is cool.

He got to the apartment and installed a hammock. Also took out RISK. He said its the first thing he'd grab in a house fire. I asked why because he could buy another. Its because he keeps track of every time he wins on the box.

This cambio is already good. I pretty much get to choose what we do and who we visit every day since Manrique doesn't know the area.

Saw one lady with a shirt that said, "Eyeliner blacker than my heart."

Talked with an old dude in town center. He was eating an ice cream cone. He said he was over a hundred years old. At one point he took his shirt off to show us this gut lump he had.

One of our investigators, Kevin, has a crazy grandma. She was eating birthday cake and tried to stuff it in me and Manrique's mouth.

There was a really nice holiday. Noche de Belitas. At night everyone puts candles or candles in bags on the street. Lots of fireworks too. And everyone sits outside and talks through the night. It's for the virgin. Its a shame we don't worship the Virgin — seems natural. Is it apostasy to say that? No me importa.

Can always see the north star and only the north star.

Manrique also brought a recorder. We have been dueting "Silent Night" — him on recorder, me on harmonica — to open or close visits. It's the only thing I can play. But inspired by Adam Christensen.

Week was good. Life is good in Barbosa. Now I've lived with a Frenchman, Englishman, Mexican, and Argentinian. Miss you guys hope all is good.

Desposita la plata o le manda la moto
and thus it is written — amen

Week Twelve

Week Report

Dear Family

I heard about the Oakland Fire. The story was playing on a member's TV during lunch. So crazy. Didn't know 36 people died.

Everyone here has been talking about the futbol team who was killed in a plane crash in Colombia. 70 something people died.

Parted ways with Elder Porras this morning. This week we made a pact to see a Real Madrid game live after our mission.

We were getting our hair cut and a pirated fantastic beasts was playing on the TV.         

I really like making words little in Spanish. Everyone here does it all the time — just changing the ending to ito or ita or ico or ica. bachata--> bachatita.

My new comp is Elder Manrique of Argentina. I meet him tomorrow. He was a Zone leader the last cambio.

Feeling anxious about managing Barbosa. It'll be good though.

We had interviews with Presidente Laney in Tunja. After interviews, the Elders from Tunja (Elder Loaiza of Peru, and Elder Arteaga of Bolivia) came back to Barbosa with me and Porras — to interview Osman (one of our key investigators) for his baptism. On the bus ride to Barbosa "She Will Be Loved" came on and we all said "ooooh" at the same time. Everything went well and Osman was baptized the next day. It was really good.

It was also Stake Conf in Sogamoso. It was good for Porras because he could say goodbye to a big chunk of the members he's known.

Yeah a lot of craziness this week. Lots of traveling. Porras gave me a tie. I gave him a $10 bill I signed.

Also talked with Elder Arteaga about Sucre Bolivia. He showed me pictures it looks so sweet. He says there are pink dolphins in Bolivia.

Paz en sus huesos

Miss Christmas at our house. I need to buy decorations for our apartment.

Havent met my new comp yet. He is from Argentina. I have heard he is kind of reserved and quiet.

Sounds like scrooge was amazing. Got an email form the Gorbutts saying it was awesome and that Oscar had an angelic voice lol.

Hope Roman is doing okay.

I think the song from The Snowman is the way to go for the Christmas Party. 

If you look up Willee Porras on facebook, you should be able to see his video. [ VIDEO of Ralph and Elder Porras, in Spanish. ]

We watched the Christmas talks from SLC live in Tunja yesterday. Tunja is cold so it is much better for Christmas. Barbosa is like Florida.

I use the duct tape every day.

and thus it is written

Amen

Elder Blair

Week Eleven

Dear Family,

This week was emosewa.

I had my first intercambios. I went to Tunja and spent the day and night with Elder Loaiza of Peru. Tunja is much colder than Barbosa and looks like another country. Every city is like a different country. The weather really sharply changes. The members in Tunja are super cool. There are two siblings who speak perfect English as well as French and Portuguese. Their dad is a linguist who raised them in English. He speaks a dozen languages himself. Another member Nicholas likes the same music as me so we talk a lot.

Thanksgiving was cool. Me and Porras took two of our key investigators - Deisy and Hari - out for Tacos. We all said what we were grateful for.

Friday we painted the Pardos house. The Pardos are members in Barbosa. Severro Pardo is the father maybe in his 60s. Always walks around shirtless with his cross necklace. He also plays soccer with us on Saturdays and always scores on everyone like 6 times. He has 4 kids and they are all older now. There are always like 20 other people in their house. There was a French girl there the other day that was cool.

Porras and I were walking down the street and this dude stopped us "Just one question- does man believe in god or god believe in man?"

What do you guys think?

One thing super sweet- we met a filmmaker. Jose. Today (pday) we made a movie with him. It was an interview with Porras about his mission and shots of us walking around and contacting. It got finished about an hour ago. You guys will be able to see it soon. One of these p-days I want to make a movie with him in the Jungle recreating a folktale or something like that. He is really cool. He and his younger brother also played "Torbellino Beleño" together.

This is Porras's last week. He heads to Bogota Saturday. Pretty crazy. I asked him what his 3 genie wishes would be and he said, "First I would wish to be a wiseman and then with the wisdom I would make my other wishes." Don't know if he stole that answer from somewhere but I thought it was pretty cool. Porras will be home for Christmas. Lots of goodbyes. Everyone loves him.

Yeah that gucci elder is on my mind too. Idk if I said this last week but from him I had the idea of a group of construction workers draped in gucci, louis, hermes, everything, but covered in concrete and mud and not addressing the luxury at all. Thats the future of fashion.

I am betting lenin commented on your ig. He is one of the members who always comes with us to lessons.

Miss the christmas decorations.

The teaching tips are gold. This is what I need. Language classes are going good. The first half everyone is always quiet and shy and the last half everyone is awesome and then it starts over every time.

I should probably know english grammar before teaching english even though true fluency transcends grammar.

We find people contacting contacting asking for refs. We don't have service every week. Most of the service in Barbosa is cleaning houses- but this week was all painting. It was awesome.

Like the branch a lot. Anxious to see how things will be when Porras leaves.

Yeah good good week.

and thus it is written

Amen

E
L
D
E
R

M
O
N
I
T
O

Also forgot - there were 2 Colombian teams playing - nacional y américa. There were riots and a motorcycle parade comparable to Run-a-Mucca with fireworks and everyone honking horns - so awesome.

The Real Eagle

Week Ten

Week Report

The first cool thing that happened was right after I emailed last week.

Me and Porras were walkin round the town. Everyone was ditching out on our appointments and it was getting late. There was a group of friends playing guitar and talking so I told Porras we have to go over and hang out with them. They were this group of bikers from Argentina. They just bike from town to town in South America, playing music for money. I talked with the dude with the guitar for about an hour about Argentina. His name was Pedro Ivan Guevera Florentin. I got Argentina film recommendations from him. We sang Under the Bridge RHCP -- everyone here loves RHCP. He also played Voodoo Child. Porras got the guitar and serenaded us too. He sang "Deja" by Vanda El Recordo. I played Strangers by the Kinks. We had Mate this really hot drink. Yeah they were really cool.

Next day we had to go to Bogota to renew Porras Visa so he wouldnt be illegal even though he has like 2 weeks left. Going there is like goin SF-->LA. Long bus ride. There was a dog movie playing on the bus. We stayed with the secretaries who have such a nice apartment. We also had Papa Johns which is a big deal. Colombia played Argentina.

Me and Porras got some food poisoning from some bad arrepas. We had to stay in the house most of the day.

Had a Zone Service at Fundacion Moroni in the surrounding hills of the city of Duitama. Me and Porras had to get up at 4:30 to travel there. Its an addiction recovery program. We were just cleaning the facility. I hung out with Elder Almeida from Brazil. All the Brazillians missionaries are so cool its just in their blood. We had to machete down these logs. It was fun. There was one Mexican missionary dressed head to toe in Gucci, just workin in the mud.

Sunday- taught another lesson on missionary work. It went well, got people to talk. 6 investigators came to the branch so me and Porras were happy. After church we had lunch with the Ramirez family. They have a son whos serving in Argentina. We looked at pictures of him for about 10 hours. After lunch we were walkin around. It started downpouring. We walked passed the big Barbosa soccer field. Barbosas team was playing so we watched them for a bit. Then we visited a less active memeber after and saw the clearest double rainbow. Visited one of our main investigators Osman and his friends. We were telling riddles for an hour. Porras had a good one.

3 friends spend the night in a hotel. The next morning, the owner asks them for 30 bucks. They each give 10. The friends walk away and the owner realizes he charged them 5 bucks too much. He sends an employee to give them the 5 bucks. The employee takes 2 bucks for himself and gives a buck to each of the friends. So subtract a dollar from what they each paid. So now its like they each paid 9 bucks. 9 x 3 is 27. + the 2 bucks the employee took for himself. 29. What happed to the missing dollar?

We also read BOM with them.

Today we had a Zone Activity, again in Duitama, again 4:30 wake up time. First we bussed Barbosa to Tunja. Got there at 6. Tunja was freezing. Me and Porras were looking for hot chocolate. We found this alleyway with different shops and cafes. The alleyway was on a hill. We kept peeking our heads into the differenty shops asking if they had hot chocolate. Everyone kept telling us "mas arriba" --like "higher up". We kept walking up the alleyway and finally found a place. The hot chocolate tasted like Jessica Albas smile. Played futbol the whole Zone Activity in Duitama.

Elder Porras is def excited for home- but still working hard everyday. I dont think my last few weeks will be as focused as his.

Will miss thanksgiving. We are taking some of our investigators out to eat. It will be fun.

Miss everyone so much. this mission is super hard but lots of rewarding experiences.

Sometimes I remember an average day back home and am shocked at how heavenly it sounds. Its like Aunt Jordan said, in a missions youre literally not doing what you want to do for 2 years. So its super hard alot of the time but the cool parts are so cool. Spanish is really coming along too. When im not feeling the mission, I can just work on spanish. I feel like my spanish is where my french was after a year.

a good week
I miss my family
and thus it is written
Amen

Elder Porras & Elder Blair

Week Nine

[ First email ]

Week Report

America is dead.

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[ Second email ]

Part 2

This week was good.

First Zone Meeting in Duitama. Met my Zone leaders. One is from Ecuador and has a ponytail from his tribe.

Contacting a lot everyday. It's crazy because a good 9/10 people give us their address and number and everything. Feel like that wouldn't be the case in the US. My favorite thing is sitting down with the old cowboys on the road and talking with them about God. Everyone always asks us about the Virgin. Do you believe in the Virgin?

Lots of dogs sleeping that look dead.

More French people. French is harder now, Spanish keeps slipping in. I want to buy a French grammar book so I can keep up.

Colombia was playing Chile in Futbol. It was like the super bowl. Literally everyone had a jersey. Every store, business, bank had the game playing. Tons of people watching TVs in the street.

Chupando La Piña means making out — sucking the pineapple.

Today was a really good p-day. We went to Tunja and met with other missionaries in our zone to play soccer with members in Tunja. One member was a 19 year old who had a guitar so I hung out with him. We were playing the best Strokes songs.

On the bus back to Barbosa, me and Porras met a German girl who is teaching English and German here. She was really cool. I talked with her about German Christmas markets.

Hope everyone is doing well,

Elder Blair